The law of Happiness states that :

" IF YOU WANT TO STAY HAPPY THEN YOU HAVE TO KEEP OTHERS HAPPY "

Explanation :

Every individual is surrounded by other individuals/people. All these individuals/people are categorized into 5 circles.

The first or the innermost circle : consists of people who you are coming in contact with the most i.e on a daily basis or very frequently. Examples are your wife/husband, co workers etc.

The second circle : which surrounds the first circle are the people who you meet let us say once or twice a week and are not as frequently in contact with you as the people in the first circle. Examples are some friends you see or visit or people in a class that you are taking once a week etc.

The third circle : surrounds the second circle and consists of individuals who you meet once or twice a year or even once in 5 or any number of years. You know all these people. Examples are distant relatives, old friends etc.

The fourth circle : consists of people you don't know but can meet at any time. Examples are attendant at a grocery store, someone you talk to in an elevator etc.

The fifth circle : Comprises of people you don't know or meet but these people know you. Examples are of fans of rock stars or famous people etc.

Your happiness depends directly, on how happy the individuals are with you, in all these 5 circles.


To achieve 'ABSOLUTE HAPPINESS' all the people in all these 5 circles should be happy with you.

It does not matter how much money/fame or power you have. These things cannot directly affect your happiness. Your happiness will depend on how happy others are with you. If money/power or fame could bring you happiness then we would not see countless cases of suicides, depression etc. among the rich/powerful and famous people. Money and other things can only affect your happiness indirectly. Example is that if your wife and family are not happy with you/or are sad because you are poor then their unhappiness/sadness will affect directly on your happiness.

I would assign different weights to all the circles. The first circle will carry the most weight, the second will carry less weight than the first, the third will carry less weight than the second and so on.

The First or the Innermost circle is of most important. It is very important to have the most people happy in this circle.

It will be very difficult for an individual to be happy if ALL the members of the first circle are not happy, even though the members of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th circle are happy with that individual. There will be some happiness experienced, because of the people of the other circles, but the individual will not be able to stay generally happy even at a basic level.

Similarly if ALL the people of the first circle are happy, and the the people of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th circle are not happy then that individual can still be generally happy at a basic level. There will be unhappiness experienced because of the people in the other circles, but a person can attain general happiness at a basic level just because ALL the members in the first circle are happy with that individual.

Also the level of happiness depends on the number of people in the individual's circles. For example let us say there are two people A and B. A has 2 people in his first circle and B has 10 people in his first circle. Let us assume they have no more people in any other circle. If both the people in A's circle are happy with A, and all the 10 people in B's circle are happy with B, then B will be more happy than A, as more people(8 more) carrying the same weight are happy with B.

Similarly based on the above the more the people the happy in the closer circles to you the more you are happy. Now here is another example in which I will try to measure happiness. Let us say A and B both have 5 people in the first circle and 10 people in the second circle and they do not have any other people in any other circles. Let us assume for arguments sake that the weight of each individual's happiness in the first circle is 75 points, and the weight of each individual's happiness in the second circle is 30 points each. Let us assume that A has 4 people happy in the first circle and no one happy in the second circle. Let us assume that B has 2 people happy in the first circle and 5 people happy in the second circle. So the points of happiness for both A and B will be as follows :

A = 75 x 4 = 300

B = (75 x 2) + (30 x 5) = 150 + 150 = 300

As you can see that A had only 4 people happy, while B had a total of 2+5 = 7 people happy. Still they both have achieved the same happiness points and are both equally happy. The reason is that A has more people in the first circle happy than B has. I hope you get the importance of getting more and more people happier in the inner circles first and then making people happy in the other circles.

Also the unhappiness of any individual with you will affect your happiness no matter what. Even if it is not your fault and some person is not happy with you, then that unhappiness of theirs towards you, will affect your happiness. It will not affect you with the same intensity or same points as it would affect you if it were your fault, but it will affect you at some lower level. Again the intensity will be high if the person is in the first circle and lower in the higher circles.

Try to keep people happy even if it is not your fault, or even if it is their fault, especially in the lower circles. If they cannot be made happy, then stay as far away from them as possible, and in least frequent contact with them as possible.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Point ! A different approach indeed.

Anonymous said...

Tried this one...really tried it. Have made everyone else happy, even joyfull. Most now hang on and drain me for their purposes (pshycic and emotional vampirism),yet some how I remain barely discontented, happy? joyfull? I still feel unfullfilled. I have never really ever realized not even one of my big dreams...on top of that I feel self-defeating, the spirituality I practice (also goes along with this law) seems to be the very thing holding me back and so i am still unhappy (unfullfilled).

Anonymous said...

What spirituality do you practice ?

Anonymous said...

I feel very very unsatisfied from my life. But don't know exactly wat will make me haapy.

Anonymous said...

why are you unsatisfied ?
Maybe we can help. Where are you ?

Anonymous said...

Bullshit

Anonymous said...

Good concept. Don't know if it can really work though.. You seem to be a humanitarian ....

Gavin, Cape Town said...

I'm putting together a website that I hope will be helpful to others who don't feel happy inside. Once it's up and running you're most welcome to visit. (Hopefully the URL will show up with my name so that you can bookmark it for later.)

To those who feel unhappy, let me just repeat this overworked cliche: Happiness comes from within. But saying that doesn't help without adding the "how" to experience the happiness within. So, I'll also say that the source of happiness can be tapped into at the source of thought by using any mediation method that leads to the stillness within - that transcends thought. I have my own such process and it will be available sometime soon via my website. In the meantime you could check out the comments about my Beta version at my Blog site http://conscious-mental-rest-institute.blogspot.com/

Another good source for a transcending meditation (which is available NOW) is the Natural Stress Relief website at http://www.naturalstressreliefusa.org/
You can order their very affordable and effective course from one of the links there.

Besides transcending thought daily, I also recommend giving our attention during our daily lives to what we want rather than what we don't want or what we don't have. Whatever we put our atention on (whether we want it or ot) we enliven in our consciousness and attract the essence of that towards us, and that is exactly what shows up in our lives.

Trust me; I know this. For many years of my life things would irritate me and I would complain and bitch about whatever it was -- the loud music in the shopping malls, bad drivers, the negativity on TV news, whatever. And because I was focusing on the things I didn't like, they always seemed to be "in my face". Then I realized that I was creating my own reality and I needed to drop these habits. Now I put my attention on what I prefer, not what I don't like. And my life is the better for it.

Some people call this the Law of Attraction. It matters not what label we give it. It works. Consciousness is primary; matter is secondary. Shift your consciousness onto what you want, and not on the lack of it, and you will get more of what you want instead of more of the lack of it -- be it money, health or happiness.

If anyone is interested in the Law of Attraction, rather than buy The Secret (too materialistic, in my view), get the Abraham-Hicks materials which are deeper and more appropriate for the expansion of happiness. Their website is www.abraham-hicks.com A good starting point with them is in fact their book titled The Law of Attraction. But all of their books have the basic principles in them, with examples of situations and how to apply the principles.

Best wishes y'all, even "anonymous" who says this is bullshit anwyay. *s*

Surender Rao said...

I had the oportunity to attend World Congress at the Interbational University of Complementary Medicine at Sri Lanka and submitted a paper on COSMIC ENERGY AND BIO-ENERGETIC FORCE, AND i RECEIVED P.hd. In that article I had mentioned that the Nature is created by the atoms and molecules which act and react ,and interact with protons and nutrons, so the creation always
changes for the better, unless no human indulgence in inturupting the Natures Law. Recently there is a news that thousands of scitists arround the world are going to find the hidden secret of creation.

Anonymous said...

All things bright an beautiful
all creatures great and small
all things wise and wonderful
the great God made them all.

FEEL GOOD , FEEL HAPPY, AND ENJOY BLISS.

EVERY ONE IS BORN TO LIVE AND WORK AND SAVE HIS WORK AND WISDOM FOR THE FUTURE

Newage Vahamana Tushar said...

To make others happy, become fasionable and do good things. Give gifts especially romantic and beautiful. Become faithful loyal, and noble towards anyone including men. Try to help those who are truly down and those who seek common help from you. Likewise, this information here is handy with this approach I specified.

Anonymous said...

Happiness doesn't seem to come to me at all...I make others happy but I'm not happy....Dunno what to do?

Pavan Kumar said...

Excellent article!
But I think the author concentrated on a very small area.
Happiness is in the attitude of a person. According to attitude people can be segregated into the below categories.
1. People with high goals and aspirations, partially or fully achieved.
2. People with high goals and aspirations, but not achieved.
3. People with high goals and in the process of achieving.
4. People with less or no goals.
5. People who live with social responsibilities.
6. People who don't have any responsibilities.

Also there is an important factor called money which can change the attitude of every person. But I cannot deal with this factor as it can only complicate my understanding in this area.
First 3 categories are career oriented people; their happiness mostly lies in the fact, what they really consider achievement.

This article mostly dealt with the people in 4th and 5th category.
These are the most confused people on this earth as their happiness lies in the hands of others mostly. As the author pointed out their happiness lies mostly in the first or innermost circle. When this happens, the happiness will be at the expense of people in that group. But what if there is some fuss in that group and cannot be repaired easily. That’s really the nightmare for any person.

So I will conclude saying happiness for each and every individual should be defined by himself properly. There is no rule for happiness which holds good for every one.

The answer to the law of happiness comes from the Question "What makes you happy". Look at your typical days, retrospect and evaluate to get correct answers for this question.

--By Pavan Kumar
pavankumar.akella@hotmail.com

bhagavan said...

Very nice article. Do write more, I'm sure a lot of people will benefit from your experience.

Z.S said...

Thanks Bhagavan !!
I hope that many people will benefit from this article.

Niranjana said...

This is really a good one.. one major and vital circle missed!!!

That is zeroth circle...which is nothing but u.. Are u happy by urself or u need some to make u happy !!!

Happyness is not outside..it is inside.. Say if u are egoistic.. Happiness of even the closest one may also will make u unhappy!!!

If we know happyness is inside.. it
will certainly influence ur circle to be happy and in turn it reflects
u!!

Anonymous said...

your happiness and what happens around you really are not related! choose to be happy -whatever happens around you. choose to perceive it positively or to be have a positive nature - to give you the energy to push you forward whereever that is!

great to see people are thinking about ultimate happiness

Kirit Chandaria said...

Hi. You have really given an insight to many in this world.

devananda said...

Hi there

I really like your writing. I find it original and highly interesting. Well done! I cannot wait for more insights!

Your explanation of the circles of people in our lives is highly practical. I feel that if we can put some effort into making the people in our circles happier with us, we would defintely be more contented.

It seems that some posters need more info, anonymous finds herself unhappy, possibly because she has been always putting othyer peopels happiness ahead of her own? The answer to this is to never negate your own happiness. Rather, as the great psychologist, Alfred Adler taught, you must strive to be happy for yourself, while at the same time, striving to include others also. SO here is the way, to always see happienss as a two way street, You make yourself and others in your circle happy. this is true compromise, where each side wins. true compromise is always a win/win situation, never a 'I win, you lose' situation. As an example, lets say that your wife likes to read at night with the bed side light on, and you want to sleep with no lights on. if you try to force her to turn off the light, she will be unhappy with you and then you will suffer. If you give in and allow her to read with the light on, then you will be unhappy and probably take it out on her in some way in the future either by ignoring her or something else. the solution is to find a happy compromise where both sides give in a little, without sacrificing what they want. So in our example: the husband can explain to his wife that he does not liek to bed side light on and ask the wife if she does not mind only reading for 30 minutes, after which she can turn it off. that way, both sides are happy, the wife has been able to read with the light on and the husband knows that the time with the light on is reduced.

The main idea is that both parties must come out happy, not just one and this is achieved through some type of equal compromise.

Otherwise problems crop up, if you always focus onyour own happienss, you are deemed selfish. If you only focus on making others happy, you are disrespecting yourself, and no one will ever respect you.

raghu rama rao said...

Dear Happy Operators of Blogspot

Law of Contentment comes in to play for the establishment of principles of Law of Happiness. Let me share the last paragraph on page 25 of the Book titled THE POWER AND USE OF THOUGHT by C.W.LEADBEATER.( Year 1959 Publisher : The Theosophical Publishing House, Adyar, Chennai, India )

" Quaint in expression, but lovely in its thought; truly the Theosophical concept that every connection is an opportunity, and that everyone whom we meet even casually is a person to be helped. Thus the student of the Good Law goes through life distributing blessing on all about him, doing good unobtrusively everywhere, though often the recipients of the blessing and the help may have no idea whence it comes. Never forget that in such benefactions every man can take his share; and every man ought to take his share; all who can think can send out kindly helpful thoughts, no such thought has ever failed, or can fail while the laws of the universe hold. We may not always see the result, but the result is there, and we know not what fruit may spring from the tiny seed which we sow in passing along our path of Peace and Love.

P Raghu Rama Rao

Anonymous said...

Judaism would not agree with you at all. We are taught 'how can a person who is alive complain'? This refers to a person who is lying on his death bed with little hope of recovery. The very fact that he is alive is cause for celebration. He has the gift of life. Some people are tested with difficult parents, spouses and children. If they judge themselves by their family members and close working partners or neighbors they will be in a sorry state indeed.

Each persons role in life is to be the best person he can and appreciate what G-d gives him, as it says 'Who is rich?' He who is happy with his lot.

Concentrating on what one has and not what one lacks brings true happiness.

There have been many ocassions when poor downtrodden and abused Jews have had to draw on this truth. It helped them sing their way into the gas chambers in the knowledge that every second of life must be used in praise and appreciation of G-d.

Spread this idea and you will have shared a precious concept with the world that will lead us to the final redemption and peace to mankind, which is all we really want.

Rachel

Varsha Bimal said...

http://meditation.meetup.com/679/

Sri Sri: The values that enhance life are confidence, cooperation, compassion, love, enthusiasm, faith and knowledge. These values come only through spirit. We think we can find happiness or comfort through the material, yet we know that material comfort alone is not sufficient or complete.


Happiness is a quality of consciousness. It does depend on matter, but to a far greater degree, it depends on attitude and understanding… Living the spiritual values makes your personality solid and strong.

Varsha Bimal said...

The State of healthiness

Only a healthy bud can blossom. In the same way, only a healthy being can succeed. So, what's being healthy? If you are feeling rough inside, then you are not healthy; If the mind is stiff and not calm, you are not mentally healthy. When the emotions are rough, you are emotionally not healthy. To attain a perfect state of health, one has to remain mentally calm, steady and emotionally soft.
The state of healthiness has to flow from the innermost of your being to the outermost, and vice versa. That state is called Swasthya in Sanskrit. Swasthya means health. It also means being in one's self. Swasthya or health is not just confined to the body and the mind; it has come to you as a gift from the cosmic mind or the 'Indra.
'Have you noticed this? When you enter a place, where a very disturbed and stressed person has spent some time, you start feeling disturbed for no reason, even if the stressed person is not around any longer. The same feelings, same thoughts same emotions come to you. Similarly, when there is a harmonious vibration like at a place where a Satsang is happening, you feel good. You don't know why. So feelings are not isolated in one's body, they are all around. So is breath. Same goes for the mind. It is in the whole environment, because the mind is subtler than the five elements - the earth, the water, the fire, the air and the ether. Like if there is a fire somewhere, the heat is not just in the fire, it is also radiating throughout the place. Subtler than the air, which is all over. So if you are unhappy or depressed, you are not the only one who is feeling it; you are spreading it to the whole environment. A time may come in the future, when people will be fined for being depressed because they are creating emotional pollution!
But how can we control this? That is the key question and the answer lies in meditation. The main purpose of meditation, Pranayam and related practices is that they increase prana or the subtle life energy. Prana is subtler than emotions. You handle the breath and body gains good health.

Billy said...

All well and good to choose to be happy, and be happy with your lot, etc. But then one day someone comes along and says your kinda fat, or your dumb, or someone cuts you off in traffic....then what? Where is the happiness now?

Only when the ego is transcended and you are no longer identified with this body and mind will you find lasting, peaceful happiness.

yours_nonie said...

The law of happiness says " IF YOU WANT TO STAY HAPPY THEN YOU HAVE TO KEEP OTHERS HAPPY " But in my view... there is no have in life.... why you have to keep others happy. You cant make others happy if you are not the source of happiness for yourself. You can only give 90 rupees if you have atleast 91. But it says if you "want" to be happy then keep others happy I say " If you want to be happy then Be":)

Ruben said...

Check out projecthappiness.com

Anonymous said...

The people around you are important but it is not your job to make them happy. It is important to reach out to others. You can send notes, stay in touch, etc. but you can't make other people happy. People who suck the life out of you are best kept at a distance. As for big dreams, set a realistic goal. Research and write the steps you must take to reach that goal. This may require some research and talking with someone who is already experiencing your dream. Spend more time with positive people. You deserve happiness. It comes from within. Once you're on the right path, you will begin to feel it.

Vivek said...

I agree with niranjana.

Anonymous said...

yes, really it is an excellent article, never read like this before.It is proved again that, happyness depends on what you give, not what you get...

Simeon Augustes Lim said...

To Be Happy is A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y very SIMPLE !
Happy Personality makes u a Happy Person !
Happiness is in Emotion Area of one's life.
It is all about how u feel ...
If u think u r happy, then u can be Happy.
Unfortunately, many does realise about this.

Simeon.Augustes.Lim@gmail.com

CMR Institute said...

For those who say here that they're not happy, see if this site helps: www.Unlock-Your-Happiness.com

lolwa said...

The benefits of Islam

The following items are some of the benefits to be earned and enjoyed by those who wish to become Muslim:
1. As far as the Creator (whose proper name is Allah) is concerned, you will be able to identify Him and get to know Him, His role and your relationship to His names, you will be able to communicate with Him any time, 24 hours a day, throughout the whole year. As a result of this category, you will be able to know your origin, your roots and the wisdom as to why you are on this planet. You will be able to have good answers to the questions why, how, when, where, what and other philisophical questions.



2. As a result of the first benefit, your loyalty, allegiance, and obedience will be to the Creator himself. You will transcend yourself from all types of allegiance for this world. This means that if there is a conflict of interest between your boss, your job, your government, your system or any worldly relationship with the Creator, you will undoubtedly put your trust in Allah, the Creator of the universe. You will follow Him before you follow anyone else.

3. As a result of the second benefit, you will be able to acquire peace, harmony, tranquillity and happiness within yourself, with your family, with people of the world, with the environment and with the universe. One has to remember that the source of peace is Allah, and one of his beautiful names is that He is The Peace.

4. As an endorsement to the third benefit, you will get rid of the extra electrostatic charges from your brain and the central nervous system by performing the daily Salah. Through Salah, you are to prostrate by putting your forehead to the floor; and as such are grounding yourself, and you are discharging these extra charges into the ground. As a result of this act, you will get rid of many of the neurological diseases from your body.

5. As a result of the fourth benefit, you will acquire a pleasant personality. You will be friendly and amicable. You would not need to drink alcohol, to use drugs or to get involved in vulgarity or immorality.

6. Through the experience of fasting in Islam, you will be able to have self-control, self-restraint, self-discipline, self-education, self-evaluation, and self-obedience to Allah the Creator. You undoubtedly will be able to improve health, personality, character, and behavior.

7. As a result of the sixth benefit, you will be able to control your lusts, selfishness, desires, greed, ego, and conceitedness.

8. Another side reaction of the sixth and seventh benefits is that you will be generous and hospitable; you will try to purify yourself and your mistakes by sharing your happiness and your wealth with those who are less fortunate than you. Your rewards will manifold, compounded daily until the Day of Judgement.

9. By performing pilgrimage to Makkah, you will transcend yourself from being nationalistic, sectarian, or denominational into being universal. You will be part and an essential constituent of the rainbow of Islam. You will be also part of the brotherhood of Islam with those who already submitted themselves to the Creator. At the same time, you will get rid of any inferiority or superiority complexes. You will also find yourself in synchrony and harmony with all the prophets and messengers of Allah since the creation of Adam and Eve until the last final messenger to mankind, prophet Muhammad (pbuh). While in makkah, you will be able to visit the places of revelation of the Qu`ran as well as the places visited by prophet Abraham and members of his family such as Hagar and Ishmael. You will visit the place where the first astronauts, Adam and Eve landed on earth.

10. In becoming a Muslim, you will do your best to stop all types of exploitations in all their forms: economic, biological, mental, spiritual, psychological, political, etc.. You will also work to liberate people and give them freedom of worship, freedom of speech, and freedom of expresssion. You will be a leader and help lead people to peace, tranquillity and happiness.

11. In accepting Islam, you will help to reduce all types of social ills in the society: juvenile delinquency, child abuse, domestic abuse, incest, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, premarital relationships, extramarital relationships, and other vices.

12. As a result of the eleventh benefit, you will reduce and eliminate venereal diseases, AIDS, and other diseases of similar nature in the society.

13. Finally, when you die, you will die at peace. You will have a happy life in the grave and later, eternal happiness. Angels at the time of death will comfort you. They will also show you your place in paradise. On the Day of Judgment, you will be able to see and meet all the prophets and messengers of God to mankind including Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad. You will be able to see and meet any and all of your friends and relatives. You will live an eternal life of bliss in paradise.

Reflections:

The benefits mentioned above and many more cannot be purchased with money anywhere in the world. No one is to sell them to you or to advertise them on TV. You have to take the initiative yourself and try to acquire them by accepting Islam first and then by practicing its teachings. You should be honest with yourself, sincere, and truthful to the Creator. You should try wholeheartedly to practice what you believe, regardless of whether someone else is good or not While seeking happiness is a must, it should not be measured with other people's standards or with material gains. Happiness is from its potential to its kinetic forms. People around you should feel your happiness as well as benefit from you.

Are you ready to accept this challenge today? Remember, tomorrow may not come, and it will be too late.

Rikke said...

I am sorry I must diagree.
It is true that happiness is contagius, but I recomend to start by makeing sure your are happy your self and then others in your life will follow. Kr Rikke

sudhakaran said...

good one. worth trying out.

Anonymous said...

Nice for the day when hardships sail and situation becoming tougher!

chico said...

Hi, I to like your post. It's very down to earth, meaning that mentioned factors (basically the happiness of the people in the circles are perfectly tangible (unlike stories about particles nobody has ever seen). What I find missing is a discussion on what makes the people in the circles happy. Definetely things like being able to compromise, to maintain your word, to report back, I believe are very important. But it doesn't seem to be enough, especially in relations with people you do really only interact with because you like them. There it seems very necessary that you are able to show initiative, not to be ashamed of yourself, on which your spontaneity depends a lot. If you are not able to connect with people you would like to be friends with you may still not be totally unhappy because you may have other relations, at work for instance that go relatively well, but you'll easily fall into loneliness. On the other hand the idea of how you believe other perceive you is very important on your capacity to show the love towards others that indeed you feel. The issue of self esteem or self love nevertheless is something that seems to be linked to the way you relate to your parents (or related when you where little). So it is most important to make happy those people who you wan't to be happy (the ones you love - friends you're a lot with girlfriend/boy, some new acquaintance). But you make those people the happier, the happier spontaneous, self secure you are yourself. Which is why this works a lot like a vivious cycle, and maybe that's just the reason why your first love experiences with parents or whatever have such an overwhelming importance. And that is probably why there are millions of happy people that never wasted a minute reading a blog on happiness. They have a good capacity for exposing themselves because they master the game. Less fortunate people have not learned this, maybe because the game was untrue or there was no affection interchange at all. Of course physical contingencies like a brain tumor for instance can as well affect the vicious cycle at some stage. Well just to finish, I believe I'm defending psychotherapie, as a way to break the cycle or at least as a way to gain conscience on something you feel doesn't really work as it should or could.
I think that in this sense a title like the law of happiness is perfectly right but misleading if you think that you will be able to indeed achieve happiness only through them. What is not mentioned in the law is that you need to be able to enforce the law. Looking at it this way, it is really indifferent what the law is (that's why a psychologist might ask you what law you want to enforce, and then work with you on enforcing it and seing why, if so, you're unable to do so - in doing this of course it may be realizes that the law is no good in providing happiness even if you're able too enforce it). Any way I believe your law would suit lots of people, especially if they were only able to enforce it.

Ky said...

dude im sorry, but this is SO wrong. how can you make ANYONE but yourself happy? if you attempt to live for ANYONE but yourself, youre attempting the impossible. because only YOU know what is right for YOU. im not gonna say "bullshit" because youre obviously trying to help, but this is the EXACT OPPOSITE direction people should be directed. one of the greatest sins in religion was to teach us to be "selfless" when in fact we MUST be selfish, because only when we are happy do we have anything to offer anyway. as someone else mentioned, get ahold of one of the Abraham hicks books. your mind will be blown, and you will stop with pointless endeavors such as trying to make everyone else happy - and to add the point, you CANT make everyone else happy, my family is a perfect instance. anytime my sister or i wanted something, my mother would try to get it, while this irritated my stepdad because he wanted us to be independent. so what could she do? the only thing that would have made her really happy, would to have been to do whatever SHE REALLY WANTED to do, independent of how she thought we would feel about it, because EVERY PERSON GETS TO DECIDE HOW THEY FEEL - you cant decide it for them!

chico said...

Excuse-me but i believe the notion that YOU can be able to decide on how YOU feel is preposterous. YOU cannot decide how YOU feel. YOU just feel. I don't know if the 'dude' was trying to help here, but if you read carefully, the objective is in fact a selfish one. Making yourself happy. How? By making others love YOU(i humbly understand).

Anonymous said...

Happiness does not come from making other people happy. It comes from appreciating the things you have, sharing your capacity to love and achieving goals while sticking to a set of moral and ethical values.

Gavin, South Africa said...

Yes. Our responsibility is to ourselves and to unfold our own inner happiness. Everything else follows automatically from there.

Anonymous said...

Haha, how come you are spending money on adwords promoting this junk. You aren't even selling anything.

ZS said...

I am putting this on Google Adword just to get the message across. Really not selling anything.

ZS

rahul said...

good thoughts buddy.

Min Jiang said...

Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. This is a quote by Victor Hugo and I firmly believe in it. Yours is a nice blog.

Gavin, South Africa said...

Hmmm. The quote by Victor Hugo that I have on my website is worded slightly differently from this one. Here's the version I have, together with my own comment:

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." ~ Victor Hugo

My comment: I'm not too sure what Hugo means by "the supreme happiness". But I can say that from my own personal experiences of bliss, which came pretty close to "supreme happiness", that it had absolutely nothing to do with my feeling loved by another.

JACQUELINE E THURSTON said...

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Yours is a wonderful blog! Nice Post!

Nadine said...

I love your blog.That is totally true. I can just confirm.

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Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.

San Diego Wedding Photography said...

Happiness is always a choice. In order for you to be happy, you have to be positive in whatever situation you face and deal with it. And most of all, happiness goes along with satisfaction. Great Post!

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happiness is a state of mind and a choice.

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i do agree that happiness most of the time is not just about yourself it is also about the people that surrounds you.

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i think this is only applicable to those who seek happiness to others. am i right?

Sridhar Chandrasekaran said...

You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your posts. You have an expressive, conversative writing tone. All the best for your future blogging journey.